Straw Dogs

"Lie Awake"

Lie awake
Lie awake and stay with me
Lie awake
Lie awake and stay with me, child

I can’t sleep
But I won’t think out loud
For fear that I might let on
That I am anything but proud
Like maybe scared
That I can never do enough
To give you the life you deserve
Where you rise up above me
Will you rise up above me?

So lie awake
Lie awake and stay with me
Lie awake
Lie awake and stay with me, girl

There’s no truth
That you don’t seem to understand
And could surely use a little more
Of your heart and your hands
To lift me up
So come on get up
A night like this won’t wait for dawn
No, nights like this just won’t wait for dawn

The hours never get better
Than when we’re lying together
How can I turn you back on?
I need you for more than one song
I need you for more than one song

Lie awake
Lie awake and stay with me

"Could You"

How?

Could you believe me next time
I call to say we can find you some way to get even
For too long you’ve seen yourself as someone who can make
This world a better place by leaving

Now I won’t get another chance it’s safe to say
But while we’re all here
With you at peace before us
I guess I should say goodbye
You’ve found a little truth in a lie

Could you remember this?
From where you’re sitting now
I hope you’re looking down and forgiving yourself
I’ll need a good long time to get around to it
And after you I’ve got to forgive myself

The world of medication isn’t what did you in
But if you were still here
You’d have someone to blame
Before you said goodbye
I hope you finally got yourself high

But how?

Could you sleep and could you dream
From what I saw, you never seemed to wind down
Now you have, and as we sing to you
Could you tell me is everything through?
Are you fine now?

Now you won’t get another chance it’s safe to say
But while we’re all here
With you at peace before us
I guess we should say goodbye
You’ve found a little truth in a lie
I hope you finally got yourself high
But how could you?

"Down My Hall"

There’s a doctor and his wife, two kids and they never cry
So the men near the end have us all in for tea
Now you may not care, but they all swear they know you
And from what I’ve they said, they said you’re perfect for me

But then the elevator keeps on bringing up more
Of who I think you are, of all that I’m waiting for
So would you materialize?
I could use a little truth in my life

CHORUS:
Down my hall lives everyone I’ll be when you’re with me
Then we’ll all turn beautiful, young, sweet and tall
Like everyone down my hall

Rosarita in 3B dresses up in a mystery
But I know she has your eyes hidden under those veils
All her trailing scarves and hired cars leave me to dream that she is you
So I wallow here in the vapors of her trail

But you should know that she is no right woman for me
Sleeps in ‘til noon and burns her days reading magazines
While I imagine you at dawn
Awake and ready to get it on, and get on

CHORUS

It’s open
I’ve been waiting for you for a while
It may look a little like everything you’ve ever seen
I was hoping, that you might move right in when you arrive
Then we could walk the hall and show you’re alive
Prove to them all that they were right

"Serious Love"

Serious love
I need serious love

We sort of let it get away
Until now years are days
And mornings come like headlights down the interstate
One and then another, all anonymous
And all those bright lights are just getting lost on us

Like we're going the wrong way
Or going about it wrong
Either way we should turn, turn, and

CHORUS:
Return to a serious love
One that will bring up the music
That sets us above
There where we used to be, is where we’ll return
To a serious love
Serious

I see us lost in the shuffle
From one endeavor to the next, then back to work again
Leaving us with nothing when we’re home again
Trying to shore up two lives every Saturday

It’s no way to stay well
And gives no reason to stay
On this course, so of course we should turn, turn and

CHORUS

Like the light in the fog that learned just to keep burning
Is where it was
High above lust and romance
There is a serious love
Serious love

CHORUS  

"Fire Outside"

I never thought a tree could be so devastating
Oh, what a fool I had been
Turns out, with enough of them together
And a good wind from the east
They’ll grant no relief
No prisoners, just a war

Until all is gone
Except all that matters

The fire helped to burn the things I don’t need away
Left me here, with nothing left to worry about or say
When I find my way back to a life
I’m going to have a fire inside me, like the fire outside
I’ll keep a fire inside me, like the fire outside

Wanting more is easier than needing what you’ve got
Again, what fool I have been
The new rule I’m living by
Is if it doesn’t breathe, it doesn’t deserve any
Room in our heads or our hearts anymore

Let’s start all over
Let’s take it slower

The fire helped to burn the things we don’t need away
Fed on us into the night, turned darkness into day
When I find my way back to a life
I’m going to have a fire inside me, like the fire outside
I’ll keep a fire inside me, like the fire outside

We’re alone and alive
And we always have been
So if the room in our heads and our hearts cannot grow
Let’s start all over
Let’s take it slow

CHORUS

Like the fire inside me, there’s a fire outside

"Remember My Garden"

I could pay you to stay
Sit a while, while I tend to things I used to
Money does me no good now
So you can have it all
If I can have all of you back for just a few days
Everything I’ve grown has gone away
What I could use is a touch of help from you

To remember my garden
It’s all weeds and memories now
Hey, but if you come back, it could all come back
And I think I still know how
To grow beauty, yeah, and find a little love again
Here in my garden
I need something to grow
Here in my garden

Made my way out to the street
Swore I heard the idle of the mailman’s truck
But he just must have been switching gears
And I should have known
That flag’s been stuck down for a lot of years
As if the world has no time for letters
And maybe no time for me

To remember my garden
It holds the seeds of everything I know
Like the right kind of light
And the sounds of summer
And the time to let it go
On its way to beauty, yeah, and finding some love again
Here in my garden

Come with a wheelbarrow
Mine’s rusted through
But these old hands are still good for digging
And for wrapping back around you

Here in my garden

"Something More"

Over on the coast they put crosses on the road
Where people have missed their turns
And I was thinking you might have missed a turn or two
Locking the door, braking down
You hug the line to an inland town
Where a fear of waves, the fear of change die easy
If the “nothing to do” can be enough

And you say you wanted less
I wrote that truth off as a second guess
‘Cause you’re always somewhere new

CHORUS:
I hope I hear something more from you
I hope that I hear something more from you

I have another hope
Another thought you once imparted on me
That everything we’ve done might come undone all at once
Or even better, it’ll come together
Laid out like almost like you’d had planned
But then some old debt comes calling in
And you’ve disappeared again

Another note scrawled on the floor
The battlefield in a private war
That you never think to lose

CHORUS

Of all the ways you’ve come and gone
They’re better than one thing I’ve done wrong
Over and over I’d say, “Yeah, you can live a life like that”
Never wondering why

You’d say this all feels wrong
By the time I call you’re already gone
Oh now what have you left to do?

"Rather Be"

There’s not a whole lot to me, I’ve come to find
That you can’t wipe away in your own mind
Defending me, has got to be
Blowing you down, like some cold, hard Northern wind
We’ve tried but we’ve found that I leave off right where you begin

So what I’d rather be now, is someone who does not concern you
It doesn’t bother me, or so I’ve come to believe
In my fate, fate, fate
I’m like falling water and you’re like rain
And we’ll never be the same
And we’ll never be the same

We started looking up about a month ago
But that was only because we’d been so low
Collecting me, like fallen leaves
Found, but no use in your over-my-head plans
And how we confused love and help I do not understand

But what I’d rather be now, is someone who won’t disappoint you
They say we ought to be contented with our lives
And it’s strange, strange, strange
To think lives are lives are lions to be tamed
‘Cause we’ll never be the same
No, we’ll never be the same

I can’t say what I’d rather be
So I’ll say what I’m not
I’m not now and never will be
You

"Fallow"

What worries me is the holes that I left behind
Could be long since full
Maybe they were never deep enough
And maybe I’m too dull
But I think back to us, thinking ahead
As we dug down with all we’d got
The strain was proof we were living
And that you should ‘til you’re not

It’ll be soon enough coming
And we’ve not done enough, so come on

CHORUS:
I’ve been too long fallow
I need some time at the ginning wheel
Been too long fallow
Let’s find our way back into the fields
I’m going to find my way back to the fields

The wild grass has been rolling in to stake a claim
Where it saw the chance
And now it’s set its roots in
We’re going to need both hands, to get it out
And to get back in some work and seed
Rebel against demise
Don’t need to find any fortune
Just need a decent price

To keep us fed and clothed
And just pulling perfect rows, one and then another

CHORUS

We should get up now
And we’ll go down with the sun
We’ll wake up as the moon’s falling
And do it all again until they’re calling us home
And I don’t hear anyone that’s calling us home

But it’ll be soon enough, coming
And we’ve not done nearly enough, so come on

"Numbers"

I was walking up by Phantom Lake
And I kicked up an old license plate
That had made its way from 1944
And I thought about the years
Spent in a prison by the man
Who pushed the numbers in that metal by the shore

And it dawned on me there, in the mud
That we won’t ever quantify our fate and blood

It doesn’t add up
And maybe it doesn’t need to anymore
We keep trying to use numbers
As if we’re counting toward something
That’s not what numbers are for
I ain’t going to use numbers anymore

Sail the Amazon
And there’s chance you’ll happen on
A tribe that lives on pictures and some words
And if you try to count them
Or the colors that surround them
You will speak a tongue the forest never heard

And they’ve made their way so many years
That they feel the evening rainfall like so many tears

That it doesn’t add up
And maybe it never will have in the end
I keep thinking some numbers
Will help explain how we got here
And how to keep from getting here again
I don’t need numbers, I need a friend

Hold onto everything
And never hold anything too long
But what’s too long?
Read all about it
And dream all about us when we’re gone, gone, gone, gone

Because it doesn’t add up
And maybe it never will have in the end
I keep thinking some numbers
Will help explain how we got here
And how to keep from getting here again
I don’t need numbers, I need a friend
One who won’t try to use numbers again

"Waiting by the Gate"

I never got to loving you
Until it was too late
And I never liked my strategies or my fate

As it turns out we were both right
To be so full of doubt about me
But I doubt I’ll ever get over you now, so I’ll be

CHORUS:
Waiting by the gate
Waiting by the gate
For an angel

I’ve held a lot inside
But I’ve never held much hope
I treated life like were barreling down an endless road

As it turns out, I should have treated time and you better
By reaching high everyday, with you
So that’s what I’ll be doing now, while I am

CHORUS

This must be like heaven
My heart pounds in anticipation
Never knowing if you’re coming
But could you just say you might?

You know, that would be enough
That would be enough for me now
That would be enough to give me some hope

Because as it turns out we were both right
To be so full of doubt about me
But I doubt I’ll ever get over you now

CHORUS

"Sure of Goodbye"

You’re always onto something new
But me I can’t get through the forgetting
And so I remember all the firsts we shared
Like the song and the drink
And the letting ourselves go
Always free
So then, why should this surprise me?

Another note, and this one says goodbye
Tell me, where was that moment that broke us?
Could we have tried to endure?
Or are you sure
Sure of goodbye

I never doubted your confidence
Truth is, I had the sense
That you never doubted anything
Well maybe one thing
As I read between the lines of a two-line letter
You always made your point
So much better than me, don’t I know
But don’t I deserve a little more than this?

Another note, and this one says goodbye
Tell me, who put the heartache in romance?
And who’ll tell my why we endure
When we’re sure
Sure of goodbye

How did the words all get so easy to write
But so hard to read?
It’s like a riddle, or joke
But I don’t get it
And no one needs this

Another note, and this one says goodbye
Tell me, where was that moment that broke us?
Could we have tried to endure?
Or are you sure
Sure of goodbye

"Then Maria"

I wish I could say that I showed even a little control
But that never happened
What I did was saw you
And dropped my life into a hole
And I wish I regretted the mess that you’ve left me in
A typhoon you are
But I’ll get back up to chase you down
Until you let me in, again

You could push the world, with two arms, away
And they’d all crawl back to you in less than a day
I can see I should throw it in, but could you let me know

CHORUS:
When Maria?
When can I come back and see you again?
And will we be lovers or friends
Then Maria?

Riding a bus on a road that goes all the right places
Through space and time
And then without warning
You’re wishing it had left you behind
Left you to live or to die trying something so dangerous
That the chance of survival
Is the best chance that you know that you’ll ever get

And I see you as the perfect mirage
A chance at redemption through sabotage
But now I can’t end this, so please let me know

CHORUS

How could you?
Oh, how could you?
How couldn't you?

First there was hope, and then love, and then peace of mind
And then Maria
You showed up to shatter the world I thought mattered
So tell me what now then, Maria?

CHORUS  

"First Time"

In your good grace
Is one of those places
That I’ll never be again

That and Toledo
Where every time we go
The argument never ends

But it’s not about Ohio
Not another holy war
It’s that I want more for you, and me, and

We should never have come back the last time
Ignoring the signs is what brought us here
But today, the sky and our fate have broken clear
For the first time

I’ll take it West
And you can have the rest
Of this unencumbered world

And I believe
That the only thing I’ll need
Is to know that you were once my girl

But it’s not about possession
That’s nothing you could ever be
And I would not want you to, Marie

We should never have come back the last time
When all that we share now is misery
So let’s say just we believe
And we’ll both go free
For the first time

Somebody scream
Say that it’s over
We never did hate
We only stopped loving

Marie, we should never have come back the last time

No lyrics have been entered for this album.

"Amelia"

I said, “We’re out of gas now, Amelia”
She smiled and said, “Well I’ll just put us down”

So we pulled off the doors and we sailed them to sea
And we watched as the walls closed around us
I never saw a legend as something to be
I’m just glad that no one’s ever found us

Because my bones haven’t dried
And your versions are all lies

Everyone wants us to be on some island
Everyone’s hoping that we’re still alive
Nobody knows we got just what we wanted
We all died

There’s a hundred good stories about a man and his boat
And the one he just couldn’t let go
And the unspoken reason he’s so far at sea
Is there’s no one else he’d rather know

And for me and Amelia
That’s about how we feel

The only souls ever lost
Are from lives lived at no cost
You’ve got to burn to be free
Just ask Amelia and me

"That One"

Alone with the TV
And everyone I’m meant to be
I can’t tell who’s selling what to whom
So I’ll just take one of each

I lie here because it’s easy
To believe real life is hard
If I had the breaks, and had the looks, then

That one would be me
And that one would be me
If the world were how it’s supposed to be
That one would be me

One word is a standout
They say it so much that it must be true
“More”
More will be enough for you

Real beauty makes me nervous
Like a plate too hot to touch
And if only love didn’t take so much

That one would be me
And that one would be me
If the world were how it’s supposed to be
That one would be me

One in the door
Means so much more
Than it should to me
It’s been so long
Since I’ve felt strong
And I can see through me

But I know there’s strength in numbers
And if mine would just come up
The person that you thought I was, well . . .

That one would be me
And that one would be me
If the world were how it’s supposed to be
That one would be me

"Not Gone"

When you find the time
Or when you fight your way Down South again
I guess I wouldn’t mind
If we sat on the hill just talking, like we did
Staring down the fence lines
That couldn’t keep you in my town below
And though you had to go, you are not gone from me
Even though you had to go, you are not gone from me

CHORUS:
You are not gone
I have not been wronged
This feels right, warms the cold nights
And it keeps me strong to see
You are not gone from me

Heard you got your name out
I heard you sold that painting of Mary picking thyme
There in the backyard of that house that was yours and mine
And I can see that house from here
Mary she lives two towns over but not as near
As you in New York will always seem to be
Even though you had to go, you are not gone from me

CHORUS

Our love, it never seemed to go away
But faded into something I can
Look ahead to, as if they’ll be a day
You’ll find peace is back in reach here, where

The strip is three old stores
Food and fuel, the third one’s where they praise the lord
And hope this town outlives them all
But I don’t need to pray to know this:
Even if it’s ten years, you’ll notice how it’s meant to be
And that you’re not gone from me
Even though you had to go, you are not gone from me

"Counting On You"

Here’s just one more about love
It’s the last one, I swear
Here’s why I can’t do this anymore:

There’s one too many questions
And we’re two shy of a connection
It’s three times we’ve tried
Coming on four

CHORUS:
And now I’ve lost count of the reasons
That I’d put together for me leaving
It all keeps coming back to the fact
I’m still counting on you
I’m still counting on you

I could clean up the room, if you have to go
But all your clothes should stay
Get the bus to the edge of this world
And get off, and throw all of my belongings down
Except you, if you believe you still belong with me
You still belong with me

At the first sign I froze
For a second I supposed I was
At least third in line
Like all those times before

CHORUS

I added up those shadowed days we created
By covering the truths like a naked light
And all the other numbers still outweigh them,
So I saved them,
And I want to rearrange them until we’re right

"Opened My Eyes"

We used to form a line
As if we were waiting to die
But as if we couldn’t have
There wasn’t anything we wouldn’t try

To prove ourselves, we’d hurt ourselves
And I was feeling so bad I never felt the sting
But then you showed me how numbers
Were much more than just a counting money thing

So I stopped and counted my lives
And old Number 8 was about ready to die
I was on 9, when you showed me the way
To expand my chances everyday

CHORUS:
You opened my eyes
To a world that has a better side
And you even believed there’s one in me
I owe you my life
I was breaking down, I was trying to drown
But you opened my eyes and now I see

Old enough to smoke
But I was still too young to vote
Kept the candles burning always
And some hands around my throat
My eyes still blurred from the night before
But you kept us focused on the board
Gave me that unlikely chance
And for the first time something made some sense

So I lost the stare that I’d used
To convince my prey that I had nothing to lose
Well, what I’ve lost I never want back
And I thank you for giving me that

CHORUS

Knocked me out of my seat
Shoved me in, no wading, deep
Showed me nothing's over our head
Until the day we believe ourselves dead

"Beautiful"

And the last house has sold
So this town can erode
Into something that someone might find beautiful

And the moss holds the wall
It’s like the tear that won’t fall
When it suddenly all seems beautiful

When you lose control you will know you are there
Feel the broken ocean wash over your stare
Let it ruin your style
Give it up like a child

And the safest I feel
Is with my hands on the wheel
While the barricade squeals something beautiful

When the one spark that flies
Turns the blue of your eyes
I know everything tries to be beautiful

Addled by order
We’ve strong-armed the galaxy
And brought up that fever you feel

But through the window cold air spares you the sweat
All the angels hover and stare at your bed
And when your delirium breaks
The rest of us shake

And the strains we all bear
Evaporate in the air
Like the waterfall falling, so beautiful

Spin away with me tonight
It’s not a vision, just a sight
With nothing quite right, but just beautiful
With nothing quite right, it’s beautiful
When nothing’s quite right, your beautiful to me

"Sour Apple Fields"

In the sour apple fields I found
The best in life is not always so sweet
And a long, long way down is not so far
That we not should not indulge, that might be where we are
And from where we’re standing

I see new water in your dawning skies
And the age-old smell of your land
Comes begging up now from a week of dry

CHORUS:
Rise on me and we’ll reach the rain
Ride this river away while saying
That the chance of returning is real
To these sour apple fields, I feel

With the sun along, we start to get strong
But we lie here eating up the world
And the world brings water so we wash it down
Return to doing nothing on this hallowed ground
Evaporating

The stories will play themselves out sometimes
And the bitter fruit turns in the heat
Knowing more won’t flood you out of my mind

CHORUS

Green and gold
Never grow old

So the colors change, we start to feel strange
And it’s almost like we’ve come to high
But the sun comes back down to earth again
And headed into night with you is where I’ll end
To start it over

I see new water in your dawning skies
And the age-old smell of your land
Comes begging back up now from a week of dry

CHORUS 

"Crush Of Me"

I already see where all of this is headed
But I don’t dread it at all
It’s easy to lose again to one who’s never won
And you, you make me want to rise up there for you to humble
That I might stumble and fall
If sweetness for you is seeing me come undone

Then you should hold me under the light
Shape me into the world unattainable
And break me, that you might forget that

CHORUS:
You’re an easy crush of me
As if you need to be reminded
That it’s easy crushing me
My loss of pride has left me blinded

You thought we could show this town it doesn’t matter
And like a lantern to hay
The only thing you burned was our yesterdays
From here the only way you’ll come out whole is to walk over me
So won’t you lower me down?
I’m happy to be the paving of your way

Stare me into your past
Long before the decisions that haunt in you
I’ll scare up a last refrain, like

CHORUS

Who’s the fool who swore we would be blinded by our pride?
Let him raise the hand of every man ‘cause he’s a better man than I
REPEAT

So roll me into the night
Painted up like the warrior you want to be
I’ll never finish dying for you

CHORUS

"Guess Again"

Flip a card or a coin
It doesn’t matter, I’m not going
It’d be a waste of time
And I’d find myself at home again
Having never been anywhere new
Or with anyone good
But hey, wait up for me

CHORUS:
I’ve missed every turn that has come
Never have two lives merged into one
Show me a fork in the road and you’ll see
An amazing ability to guess wrong
So I’ll guess again

Through a stream I try to swim
But find the water is to my shins
I stand up in a hole
And I can’t touch the bottom, or
I’ve forgotten more of why I came
Or even her name
And I watch as her car disappears

CHORUS

Set them up like bottles on the wall
But don’t make me choose ‘cause I’ll pick them all
One by one I watch as the bad ones fall
And when I’m out of guesses, one’s left standing

Stepping out the door at dawn
Before there’s time to make it wrong
This day might be the one
I tell the rising sun
As if my turn will come
And if not now, then
When I’m falling again
Indulge my bad luck streak

CHORUS

"Traded Her Love"

He looked something like a young Paul Newman
Cool Hand, with no Sundance Kid
Turns out he could have used somebody
To watch his back ‘cause he never did

And that’s where all the trouble came
She said, “Hello, I heard every note you sang.
Now write something for me.”

She traded her love for his song
He wrote this one that night, and that was all
She traded her love for his song
And when he woke up both were gone

She wore the clothes of a New York model
But acted like she’s from Tennessee
It turns out she had some his of everything
Like she was born from his memory

And that’s where she’s residing now
He grows old at the bar and wonders how
She wrecked his life in a night

When she traded her love for his song
She made off with the words and their meaning
When she traded her love for his song
And he has never carried on

It wasn’t ever even
She was holding everything
And he was only holding one thing she could use
And so, she used him all

She traded her love for this song

"I Remember"

If all I remembered was your first name
Would you pretend that I’m still the same
Pour soul I used to be?
Well I remember so much more than that
The day that we met the day I fell
Flat on my back as your back door closed, behind you

And I knew you were right
I’d had one too many of everything that night
But it must have been just enough, because, you see

CHORUS:
I forgot a lot of the reasons we said goodbye, or if we did
And I can’t recall why we decided not to try, which is strange
Because there’s a whole lot I remember

I sold off the land that my old man left to me
I couldn’t handle the memory
Of finding him in the field
And I recall when he met you what he said:
“If she’s choosing you she’s out of her head”
And I didn’t know what he meant, but I do, now

So I’m here to prove him wrong
And I hope it hasn’t taken me too long
To find my way back up to you

CHORUS

It heightens the sense of what matters the most
When you’re holding the end of the line
Suddenly everything seems so close

And I knew you were right
For me, in my for-the-first-time clear sight
Will it all come flooding back again?

CHORUS

"Troubles Down"

I’ve been dreaming we had a well
Like they did before those ’32 gusts from hell
Took their soil off in the air
And in this dream the water was flying
And so were you, and so was I
So we just hovered there
To feel the Northern running through our hair

It’s been too hot and too still for too long
Even Emerald Mountain is brown

CHORUS:
I know the wind will feel better now
When it’s pushing down the rain
To bring this valley back its sound
And blow these tired troubles down
Like falling leaves off aching trees

You beat it into the hardened ground
With just a prayer that somewhere around this time it’ll give
Enough life again that we can live
And like the trees I’ve been hanging low
But there’s a drop in the dust and a gust begins to blow
I feel the limbs rise up

You’ve always wanted to dig in the cool rain
The roof is ringing loud

CHORUS

Emerald River will run again
Washing down the curses of hard ground
It’s going to be soft, and going to be easy
Like it was a hundred years ago
 

"All The Things"

It never was something I’d thought of
How on the broken days, I’d get by with what you’d say
But now that I’ve stared into the silence
I feel your words coming back to me, like when I’d drown in worry

And you would hold out a phrase like, “Come lay on me,
And we’ll stay the fire down”
Well I’ve been struggling along since you’ve been gone
And I hear you now
You keep talking of changing, but somehow

CHORUS
All the things you used to say, still sound good to me
All the things you used to say, still sound good to me
You sound good to me

And now I sober my face
In Layer Fountain on Saturn Park
I’m back on a cooling day
While the dogs and you play
But here you are, and all your same colors flow
In that long dress from Mexico, we took forever buying

When you kept pulling away, saying we’d do better
If we laid the money down
And he was sold on you, like I was so long, sure that
The words won’t change
I’m still walking the places that we’ve been

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
You’d keep on thinking what you hoped was true
And lose your way when you wanted to
You told me good things are born of time
And I still hold this belief as mine

So would you please just come lay on me
And we’ll wear each other out
If there’s a better day to make you fall my way
Then I’ll meet you there
I’m not leaving again now that I’m where

CHORUS

"Pains of Arkansas"

 

 

"Truth to Every Night"

High water marks on her cheeks
From crying herself to sleep
It’s not her pain that she feels
No that one’s much too deep

Cold city river drags the worst of them by her door
She’s warm and lean and already seen enough
To leave them always wanting more

The long days are everyday
As she tries to forget everyone of them
She’s too young to know
They’re too old to care too much about anything

But there’s a truth to every night
Behind the love and lies and “I’ll make it all right”s
She hears the truth to every night
That’s why she lies her days away
Trying to forget everything

No country girl this one
Grew up only miles from here
So she knew what she was getting into
When she traded out for that first beer

Now holy days she crawls through the sand
And then swims a mile in the ocean
She’s too strong to drown
But too long around here to wash away anything

And there’s a truth to every night
That she finds staring her in the face under street lights
A truth to every night
Is one more than she can take
And she can take anything

And only hopes she won’t see anyone
From anywhere that she cares about
And when he comes he’s just another
Wedding band and that stupid grin
“The money’s right there, I’ll see you again”

And that’s the truth to every night . . .

"Blinds Me Again"

From far away I saw myself fitting in
But I know there’s no again
So I pulled away, on the road that drove me over here
For the last time, that’s this time
This rear-view leftover shines
For the glare of you holds up and

Blinds me again
Holds up and blinds me again
I can’t see anything through everywhere we’ve been
But I’ll keep staring until you’re there
And it blinds me again

And I need the wind to blow more and I’ll keep standing
It’s something that holds me up
Like running down that cliff to the coast
When we both hoped we might fall
That we might soar above it all
But then your sun comes up and

Blinds me again
Comes up and blinds me again
I’ve found nothing that’s enough to make these visions end
So I’ll keep staring until you’re there
And it blinds me again

If I’d see even your eyes then it might make sense
But everything’s white like an old dream
What I see is our lives upending

And it blinds me again
Upending it blinds me again
I can’t see anything through everywhere we’ve been
But I’ll keep staring until you’re there
Or until it blinds me again

"When She Was Good"

No hair for a year
And then she really slowed down
Yesterday we laid her down
And still she had that smile

Cool nights seem better now
Knowing she would remark at how
Good the wind must feel
And how she’d missed it awhile

But I don’t want to remember her like that
Like one of those sad show call-ins
Help me to forget she was ever bad

CHORUS:
When she was good
She would never let on she’d be gone and we would
Be back to you and me, trying to bring back the memory
Of when she was good

Those days you bathed her
On that old drummer’s stool
Laying in the hall I’d imagine you were
Bathing her for her prom

And still I play these stories out
Wondering what’s left to laugh about
But one thing I never will wonder
Is where she has gone

It turns out that she knew too much for her age
Kept it all in a late-night diary
All her pain and her fate on every page

CHORUS

A long strider, with my imbalance
And your hair and your eyes
But what was that she said about having too much
Time would be a waste for me, time would be a waste for me

With all the will in the world she had been infused
Sweet curse to keep us above it all
Left me one kind of love that I plan to use again

CHORUS   

"Will It Be Enough?"

Cold metal skies are looking in
At me looking at, the warm beer in front of me
And all the things we’ll never be
It’s like morning just gave away to night
And I’ve traveled from, dreaming there was someone like you
To knowing you’re alive

It’s only minutes until your train pulls you and me apart
Stopping us before we start, and then

CHORUS:
Will it be enough if we remember this day?
Will it be enough if we remember this day?
I think of those tomorrows being alone like yesterday, and wonder
Will it be enough if we remember this day?

When eight hours ago you wandered by
I caught my breath and then, that’s all I remember now
The man’s calling “Aboard” too loud
Is there another story I could tell?
That might hold you from leaving all your plans unbroken
And leaving me in hell

That’s where I’m headed when your train pulls you from me tonight
And nothing about this is all right

CHORUS

It’s running me down knowing you were here
I never thought the truth could be so near

What will it be? What will it be? Will it be stay?

"Who I Am"

He settles down the girl
All of three and she’s wound up at the world
And so he recalls when he used to be wound
Slides into bed
Dims the light as he thinks of his life ahead
And how it’s enough just to keep going ‘round

He says, I look from the mirror at me, yeah
And realize there’s no one other to be

CHORUS
‘Cause this is who I am
This is who I am
I finally get here and realize, I’m here again
So this is who I am

She struggles through the door
All her paints and canvas on the floor
And not a chair here to sit and eat
As the blind’s coming down
She holds the cord and stares out on the town
And sees her life there painted on the street

She says, the trouble with moving away, hey
Is that you’re always away

CHORUS
And this is who I am . . .

I burned my time on the “Who am I?”
And all the “why?”s make me restless again
And I confess that I’ve been
Hoping forever for something more
But all the doors look so familiar to me
So maybe that’s how it should be

CHORUS:
If this is who I am . .

"Mostly Alone"

In the hands of someone else you’d thrive
Me, I’m destined to boredom
Well at this way we’ll stay alive
If demons die when you ignore them

With you and me in a room we take off, and too soon
There’s every ghost we can conjure
I shouldn’t resurrect this, I should forget

Well, anyway, I opened this year
With thoughts of you coming here
And arriving with some kind of cure
Like we could stare at the sun
As it dives off the Oregon coast
Leaving us mostly alone
Alone, mostly alone

There was that night in Monterey
That we got closest to sober
So by the end of that next day
We had to admit it was over

But no one would so we did, what we could to drag on
As if there was something to salvage
The only thought that lingers, is that there was

Well, anyway, I opened this day
Writing down what I ought to say
But the steam on the mirror fades
Leaving only my head
Staring off like some shipwrecked ghost
Who’d rather be mostly alone
Alone, mostly alone

Our longings never coincided
So we drowned them with our pasts
But you were the surface for me
And with that and some time and I just might last
I count you among those who have, so anyway

"Only Living Here"

I thought I’d beat the sun to this day
I’ve come to move the last of my things out of your way
But now you in the doorway
It was August the time that we first stood here
The way I know is you’ve always feared
The coming of fall

So maybe we could say at least something nice about the weather
It’s all in common we have anymore that I can see
There isn’t much about this place that I care to remember

1st CHORUS:
It’s only that we were living here
I stayed the evening over and never left
It’s only that we were living here, only living here

You showed me into all of your spaces
But I could never face up to this being freedom
There was always somewhere to be then
I should have told you the day that I first loved you
But I was sure it was way too soon
And now it’s way late

But maybe there’s a way to save what’s left of this summer
I keep looking back at us looking ahead to next year
Should we say to ourselves, the only way to ourselves is right around us

It’s only when we’re living here
And your eyes are the sole place I come alive
Only when we’re living here, only living here

All our arguments lined up are the same about me changing
Well I’m almost up to the place I should have begun
But now are you gone?

Maybe we should go inside and we’ll ride out the weather
It’s not like there’s anywhere else that I need to be
It took days in rain to get here and explain you’re all I’ll ever need
All I’ll ever need is

Only that we’re living here
Only living here, it was only living that we were (trying)

"Wired"

Did this room just get brighter with color?
Has my pain fallen into you?
And disappeared, as if it was burned for its energy
You’re turning this all from a dream into real
All our senses can feel

CHORUS:
You’re the source of the sound and the light
Does it hurt you to burn like the day through this night?
Why are you wired and what can we do
To bring us all closer to you
To bring the world closer to you

I thought a long time ago about a good life
And I was sure that had passed me by
But here it is, as some sort of warm electricity
So where did you come from, ‘cause me, I’d never say
That the world could feel this way

CHORUS

Is it something you’ve tamed?
Is the power the same, only stronger, in you?
There’s no way to think we could ignite
Pulling sound into light into love into life
Like you do
How are you made?

Can somebody please tell me I’m seeing this?
And that they hear the melodies and harmonies
That hum away, and drown out the noise we’ve been living to
There’s no one could hold back with you unto me
All our senses are free

CHORUS

"The Way You Fade"

Feeling thin when our worlds begin
We never really catch up to fill it in
These hollow eyes have seen countless tries
But never really stay until the end

I know we could save some time, with some stained old line
Like wishing we could start this all again
But as the hours go by, and this talk grows shy
Are we forcing out the answer of our lives?

CHORUS
Like the way you fade in my head
To light me up again (Like a light around the bend)
From the one who always said (You keep on fading from me)
It takes most of me to find
The ways you’ll realize
I won’t be back again

Through old bead glass, only shadows pass
We never seem to meet in the same light
And these hollow eyes, they magnify
But never really burn it in my mind

I try to keep you colored in here
But I can’t keep the lines inside

"Kindle"

I finally had a dream I do remember
Something in green, on trail with a view
We stopped once to breathe, it wasn’t that we needed to
Was a habit I enjoyed before I kindled up with you

We were sort of in a daze as we walked on, talking very little
At the bend you never seemed to slow down
You save the best for the bed, better than a riddle-dream
I’ve found the seam, and now I’ve got my mind around you
I’m finally wrapped around you
Ah Ah

Now the story gets weird:  For the first time we weren’t talking
Should have said a word or two before we headed on
And even as the winds came over grass with pools of bass,
I knew that we were fated to fathom even more

We were looking to the West for the sunrise
Knowing that it could have come from any which way that day
A meadow on a land-bridge across a valley like I’ve never seen
I’ve found the seam, and now I’ve got my mind around you
I’m finally wrapped around you
Ah Ah

Now the story gets clear:  All the curves had come full circle
And everybody wore that face you had the other day
The weather up ahead grew and we started in a new direction
A river followed, only it was you

"Nothing I Say"

They say you call to yourself
When life has left no one else
Well spaces echo my name
With no one there left to blame

I keep hoping someone arrests me
For something like speaking up out of turn
But when I turn there’s nobody there

CHORUS:
Nothing I say ever does anything
To slow the tide of rebellion inside of me
What can I say to get through?
That nothing I’ve said up to now was ever meant to lose you
Lose you

Cool or thinking we were
So 25 was a blur
Screaming out with the crowd
Convinced that right was loud

Then you grew soft in your ways
And I was off to parading
Anywhere for the cause
Yelling out till my voice was lost
And that’s not all that was lost

I keep hoping someone surrounds me
And starts telling me what to do for once
I got nowhere by thinking out loud

CHORUS

I let myself get away
I thought I’d something to say
And now there’s chance that I do
So I’ll keep looking to you

And keep hoping you’ll still indulge me
Forget all those middle-of-nowhere nights
I found somewhere is already here

CHORUS

Here’s me losing you
This is me losing you, losing you

"Daylong Day"

I’m too tired to beg again
Go on, say something
You wait so the light might change and then
We’ll be back to running

From place to place until night
Might hold you up for a minute
I can’t keep up with your life

CHORUS:
Slow down for me
And let’s go back to the daylong day
We’re always tearing around packing five days into one
Stash the keys, lay with me for a daylong day

I want the feeling that one is one again
I want the feeling that I’m the one again

The nightlight can’t give me the sight of you
I only catch your shadow
You pause, like you might come into view
But then it’s back off to battle

You’re blazing by like a star
And I’m fading out like the tail
I can’t keep reaching that far

CHORUS

Do you remember back to when
Saturdays began sometime after noon, or later?
Now I never hear “Wake up, lover”
It’s “I’ll be home soon.  Here’s a list of things to do.”

There’s no time we can put away
It’s only ours to lose
So I know I won’t regret it when I say
The time is now to choose

You’re blazing by like a star
And I’m fading out like the tail
You’re not who I know that you are

"Laura"

It shouldn’t be me, I know, that walks out this time
I’m always falling back on the same old line, about you Laura
But the heaven you see is too real for me just now
So help me move on, I think I finally know how

This woman gets me worked up, she says, “Come have a child with me”
And then when she gets herself all done up, she is looking too good for me
See I’m not looking too good, without you

Laura, I’m living alone but not free
Laura love doesn’t save me
She’ll never be half what you’d be
But let me go, Laura, now that you are an angel

You told me to sleep, that you’d get us home alive
Now when I don’t sleep I just get up and drive, and drive
It used to be here to where I saw your sweet glow fade
But now it’s to her place, she eases my pain

This woman’s got a smile like yours, I think you would have liked her ways
And when she asked me what we used to do, I say we never planned a day
And now I’m wishing I had planned one, with you

CHORUS

For two years, I’ve been spinning in the void that Laura you left behind
With all wheels, slipping from the road on the movie in my mind
But now I’ve found another chance in a most appealing form
So Laura, let me live this out and I’ll be there when I’m worn, when I’m…

Sitting alone, I know I can feel you near
Under your sweet breath you say in my ear, and I hear,
“You’re not getting younger and I’m not going anywhere.
So move it along, boy, she’ll help you to bear”

"Out of Breath"

ire money
I just need to get back home
I know I’m out of IOUs
Sell anything I own

This run has finally done for me
What my long stories never seemed to manage
Come take advantage of me

While I am finally out of breath
I’ve talked our entire lives to death
And now I’m finally out of breath
So that there’s nothing left to say
But I’m sorry again

In the desert
I saw you as I’ve never seen
You’re the last oasis for me
Saved me from everything

And those words I’ve heard from you so many times
You’d think by now that I would have memorized them
They’re striking a chord and it’s loud

‘Cause I am finally out of breath
From all the scamming and planning and debts
And now I’m finally out of breath
So that there’s nothing left to say
Hey, but I’m sorry again

Just tell me you might
Just tell me you might believe me

I’m sorry my friend
I can’t breathe and I will not leave again

"All My Days"

“Save and you’ll be saved”
Those words you said to me, I have still not figured out
We’re both laughing and we’re poor
But only in money, so I guess money’s not what it’s about

When we’re walking, not driving or standing in a line
Is when everything seems real to me
And I’m awaiting the moment when all of these moments converge
On you, and on me, and then

I’ll have whatever I want from you
And we’ll have all we need
I’m spending every dollar and all my days
Proving that we can be saved

Ask someone else, man
I dropped the last of mine on some candles that we never burned
I sat home in the darkness
Leaning on the front door and deciding what I had learned

There’s the way that were living, and there’s life that’s worth living
And the two are getting close for once
And you’ll see what I mean when we give it all away and then there’s you
And me, and time, and that’s all, and then

I’m sold on stripping everything away
That we’ve been saving away
And we’ll get nothing but old unless we’re moving
Don’t watch, and wait
Don’t watch, and wait

What’s in a future
Where all your memories are of waiting for a time that’s good?
So start the meter and let’s go
Get me to the spending, it’s the time left that we should

"These Ashes"

I see only abandoned streets
When my eyes come across their faces
They all yawn in collective sleep
Content to watch as their Rome burns

But I’m thinking there must be somebody
Who knows more than his way around
I’m praying there’s still somebody

But who let the light burn down?
Is there nobody around here, we can blame
Who’s left to run this town?
Is there anybody with matches
Who can brush away these ashes and light a fire
Brush away these ashes and light a fire

All these buildings they’re boarded up
Had enough of the world, or so it seems
But as the sun rubs the sky to dusk
Through every crack there’s a light on

So I’m thinking there must be somebody
Inside every hovel here
The place isn’t quite deserted

Blow away these ashes
Throw away these cooled down neverminds
Wipe away this hard luck and make it shine

Like this morning and yesterday
I get the sense that some chances have slipped away
But like tomorrow and days to come
We see a shot at redemption

"Always The One"

You sleep in my heart
I know when you roll over because it wakes me up again
To the truth that you have been
Always the one

The dream I still have
The crowd starts to get loud and I’m pushing my way through
Oh, but they can see it too
Your time has come

You were never going to get famous, they swore to me
They promised me
Our children would blame us if we ever gave them time
Oh, how could I have not known then that you
Were always the one

The time in between
The day that you shared your plans and I’d known it all along
Like living in a song
You’d never sung

And where we are now
You’re laying it out on stage and your leveling the world
There’s a sparkle to the girl
Leaves us all numb

You were always going to be something just more than me
So it’s hard for me
To realize the one thing I’d ever earned is gone
Oh, see me and hear me say you
Were always the one

Said all I can say, and anyway
You’ve heard it all
And that’s not just from me
About how I believed in you all along
How all that I said was wrong
And you are the one
You are the one

"Push Your World Around"

Tired eyes
From staring into the past
At the few loose ends that we could never seem to grasp
And now you arrive
Painted up and ready for war
I think I might give in
But you want more and more and more

So every step back I’ve taken
I’m taking back again
I’m here so let me in

CHORUS:
Call the lawyers, call me a liar
But I won’t back down
You let us fall from even higher
Then you move the ground
Go low and roll me over
I’ve been lost and found
I want to push your world around and round
I want to push your world around

Coming to is hard when you’ve waited so long
That the last good chance, like all the others it might be gone
And if so, so am I
But not without the stand and the shove
That you seem to need
From me to prove my love

So all of those slow-burning put-ons
I’m putting on to you
And staying until we’re through

It shutters me to see our hands are tied by each other
And all your best moves are at a standstill and
The days are filling up with emptiness
Well I’m not willing to call this a day
I’m going to push you back around my way
 

"Wearing Her Down"

She aspires to walk high wires above our tiny heads
And write the Great American Novel at night lying in her bed
Well I’ve seen just some of what she’s done, she’s more than halfway there
But about her winnings through yesterday, she could not even care

Never lies or denies that she has not been thinking of me
She’s thought of everything else

Chorus:
Like shade in the summer
Light in the winter
The right way to the end
And I’ll do anything to be there, when she’s there
I think I’m wearing her down
I think I’m wearing her down

Now I’ve been waiting ‘til she starts fading so that I might have a shot
But though the seasons go warm and cold, her level never drops
She’s up and on and gone before the morning’s first alarm
To relent this pace would unravel her, but the ravel is her charm

Never waits to debate on whether her course is a good one
Of course it always is

Just got back from my first attack on the walls she calls “her room”
I caught her smile as reached the door, she said I’ll see you soon
I’m inside looking out for once and the view from here is good
But about my chances of keeping up, she’d kill me if I could

Never lies or denies that she has not been thinking of me
She’s thought of everything else

"Sunslide"

Watch together the sun slide down again . . .

I thought alone was alright
Until I had found my way there
But now as this town slides into night
I see you with him and we both stare

And how I’m wishing that we still lived
In that place out on the ridge
Or any place at all, come to think of it

CHORUS:
I’ve seen alone, a lot of suns going down around here
I thought a little about leaving to where you’ll never know
That I’m still waiting for you to give up your waiting for him
So we can watch together the sun slide down again

She brings the coffee and smiles
And I watch as he ignores you
Even your pain has a certain style
That’s why everybody adores you

But is there somewhere that we might meet
Before tomorrow loses its heat?
We’ve tried long enough, at getting over us

CHORUS

With all the moonlight over my new place
It shows off the emptiness in the yard and everything else
Leaving me afraid of another night alone, or another day
That could have been our own, but that we let slip away

So just tell him the time has come
For this detour to be done
We’ll catch the end if we run, and run

CHORUS

Slide over here and
Watch together the sun slide down again

"Hard To Say"

Like all of the lives before me
I was guessing the move-in mattered
And as it turns out it might have
If we were here

I sold my life in a minute
Now I wallow in yours, but you're not in it
We're taking up space that someone else could use
Yeah, we're taking up space that someone else could use

And it's goddamn hard to say
But I'm pretty sure we don't matter anymore
Someday you'll be happy to be able to
Swear you never knew me
Swear you never knew me

You swear the way that I used to

I listen for your car in the driveway
The notes pile, and that's all we ever say
We're taking up space that someone else could use

Let me hear your theory out
How love and chaos can come together here
You're inclined to find I doubt
That a push for you can be good for me
How can a push from you be good for me?

"Safe"

I know that you really want to
At least that’s what you said before you
Came up with a way to change gear, and disappear

The gig from the yellow pages
Got you slammed by your cell-phone sages
Guess you’d rather float beyond the work, you soda jerk

Well that’s great
If that’s what you want to hear
That’s great
But keep the empty words my dear

That’s great
Hey, I still can marvel at the plans
But with the weight of doubt upon your paper house
You just fold them in your hands
To keep them safe from the world’s demands

The way the others tell the story
Your only words should be “I’m sorry”
For yet another expectation blown, another loan

Nobody has to persecute you
You’ve made it so there’s nothing left to
By living as an ode to giving in, what could have been

The trouble is you’ve still got promise
And with the curse of an end-game honesty
You get the world behind even your long-shot runs

Well that’s great
If that’s what you want to hear
That’s great
But keep the empty words my dear

That’s great
Hey, I still can marvel at the plans
But with the weight of doubt upon your paper house
You just fold them in your hands
To keep them safe from the world’s demands

"Old One"

Lay out all your battles
Choose the ones that will be sure to matter
Slip-on armor plating
Your face takes color in the metal shading

And if you promise not to speak for me
I assure you I will offend the world
And I’m sure you’re not
The fleeced one they’ve pegged you
So show me

Wrap that arm around all others
You play the part of everybody’s lover
One hand behind the spine
With dirty fingers shaped into a gun

And if you promise not to speak for me
I assure you I will offend the world
And I’m sure you’re not
The fleeced one they’ve pegged you
So show me you’re real
And tell me

I’m real enough to settle in your mind
That you should be so kind
You’re older now
You stagger where you used to run
You did better as the son

"One Mary"

My Mary isn’t mine at all
Much too tall for even me
And she saves every penny she’s ever seen

The lady’s gaze will always fall
Right there, behind me
Does she call to all of the troubled ones?

Watering sliding, her hair
Cold slave, I can’t pull away
Who would leave her out here?
Hold on dear, I’ll take you down

My Mary kept me on the run
Bust alone of 20 stones
Still I saved all the pieces that I could bear

Her crown would not endure as one
But this jewel reminds me
Of the way the moon laid a light on her

It’s a house, hardly a throne
How could I take her down?
Shattered mouth, never to heal
How could I put her down?
Oh Lord
Won’t rake me now from this empty pool?

Watering sliding, her hair
Cold slave, I can’t pull away
Who would leave her out here?
Hold on dear, I’ll take you down

Lead me home